I’m speaking from experience here. I’m not a psychologist but I hope my experiences can assist you to make the best choices and live your best lives.
In no particular order, let’s delve into it.
1. The unrelentless drama
If you find that the tone of your relationship goes from great to violent and abusive within minutes, and your arguments often end up with you admitting you are wrong and apologising even though you are not in the wrong, you can be sure this relationship isn’t going to work. Constantly having to start all over is draining.
2. The mama’s boy or daddy’s girl
You will never win this battle. You were meant to be number 2 from the get-go. You are here to serve her or his parent’s wishes or else you’re out. Lucky you, if you have good-hearted in-laws. Otherwise, start praying. Your days are numbered by this parent-child team. They have issues and standards you may never meet.
3. The narcissist
I could go on and go about this one. I happen to have vast experiences with this kind. They are not people you can change or heal. So if you are unfortunate enough to encounter a narcissistic partner, here are some telling signs.
They are manipulative and will undermine you and everything that is important to you. They are constantly putting you down. For example, they will appear late at events that recognise you for your achievements or perhaps not attend at all.
They constantly make you feel insecure and guilty. For example, of the 100 things you do right, they will pick on the one thing you do wrong, each time there’s an argument
They will gaslight you at every given opportunity. For example, you find that you start to constantly doubt yourself, your memory and your hearing.
Have you asked yourself if perhaps:-
- You are crazy to have heard them say that they were taking you on a special dinner date? (when you could’ve sworn that’s what they said).
- Or have you asked yourself if perhaps you are forgetful and are developing dementia? (watch the movie, gaslighting, and you will know what I mean).
These kinds prey on your empathy. Do be careful.
You will end up feeling drained and deflated and In most cases too afraid to enter into another relationship.
The narcissist is the worst of all toxic partners to be around and often display obvious signs later rather than sooner into the relationship.
4. The difficult
If you notice that they get more and more expectant of you to make their lives easier, it may be time to reflect on this relationship too.
They compare you to everyone else and often exclaim why you can’t do this and that as well as so and so.
However, there is no need for them to improve as they are the best! Stop wasting time with this one.
5. The party-pooper
If you find yourself gradually shifting away from your success focus after being in this relationship, do take a moment to consider if you want to carry on with this relationship. For example, if you were into taking care of your health and fitness, going to the gym regularly and watching what you eat however after being in this relationship, your partner discourages you or mocks your success, this is a very obvious sign that this is the wrong person for you.
6. The dictator
If you find yourself walking on eggshells because of their mood swings. And you are becoming a people pleaser, staying in this relationship will only cause you to lose your confidence and even as you read this, you are questioning and doubting yourself. walk away!
Conclusion
There are no perfect relationships however we need to know that our partners are working as hard as us in making the relationship work.
A few questions that you may need to ask yourself are:-
- What is my future self gonna be like if I remain in this relationship?
- What am I going to feel like if I do nothing?
- How is this relationship going to affect the future of my heart & soul & those of my children or loved ones?
- Do they acknowledge that there is a problem?
- Do they accept that change needs to happen?
- Is your partner making any efforts to change?
Own that power to rewrite your story. You can create anything you desire. Love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t make you question yourself. Love propels you to achieve your dreams, feeling peacefully secured and loved.
Love is beautiful.
