Jess Tan, the Chief Distribution Officer of Etiqa Insurance Singapore, exemplifies the intricate balancing act between leadership and motherhood. Reflecting on pivotal moments in her career influenced by her role as a mother, she unveils how personal experiences shaped her empathetic leadership style. Jess candidly shares advice for fellow working mothers striving to balance career aspirations with familial responsibilities, offering insights into prioritizing self-care and effective communication in the workplace.
Can you share a pivotal moment in your career that was significantly influenced by your role as a mother? How did this experience shape your leadership style or professional decisions?
Reflecting on a pivotal moment in my career that intersected with my role as a mother, I recall an incident involving my younger daughter when she was in Secondary 4 (16 years old). At that time, she was due to sit for her Ordinary Level (‘O’ Level) examinations.
Like any mother, it is my primary desire for my children to thrive. However, I inadvertently placed excessive academic expectations on her, neglecting her emotional well-being in the process. Consequently, she began exhibiting negative behaviors, such as staying out late and seeking excuses to avoid family engagements on weekends. This situation reached a critical juncture when she completely shut down communication with me. It was not until a heartfelt conversation six months later that I uncovered the root causes of her actions: feeling overwhelmed by academic demands, encountering social hurdles at school and lacking a supportive outlet to address and discuss these emotional challenges.
This experience deeply influenced my approach to leadership. While I remain steadfastly results-oriented and hold high standards for my team, I now place greater emphasis on cultivating open communication and empathy. Understanding the emotional well-being of those I lead has become a priority for me. I strive to create an environment where individuals feel encouraged to voice their perspectives, even if they differ from my own.
Striking a balance between delivering results and fostering open communications has not only strengthened my team cohesion but has also highlighted the significance of valuing every individuals’ contribution within the organisation. After all, we all crave recognition and appreciation, especially from our leaders. In embracing this ethos, I have witnessed how authentic empathy and inclusivity can profoundly impact the development of a culture built on trust, collaboration, and collective growth.
What advice would you give to other working mothers who are striving to balance their career ambitions with family responsibilities?
To fellow mothers navigating the delicate balance between career aspirations and maternal responsibilities, my top advice is to harness the power of digital tools to streamline task management across personal and professional domains. I discovered the value of embracing digital calendars, task lists, and productivity apps to maintain an organised schedule and prioritise tasks effectively. By leveraging these tools, you can ensure that no important task slips through the cracks amidst the whirlwind of daily obligations.
Secondly, it is crucial to establish clear boundaries that separate work hours from personal time, especially in the prevalent work-from-home landscape. Establishing these boundaries is essential for preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Designate specific time slots for work-related activities and honour them rigorously, just as you would with appointments and meetings. Likewise, allocate dedicated time for family and self-care activities, ensuring they remain free from work distractions. By maintaining these boundaries, you create room for relaxation, self-renewal and meaningful connections with loved ones, thus fostering a healthier work-life balance.
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Lastly, do not hesitate to communicate your boundaries and needs with your employer or colleagues. Open and transparent communication is key to establishing mutual understanding and respect for your personal and professional commitments. Remember, prioritising self-care and family time is not a luxury, but a necessity for sustainable success and well-being in both spheres of life. By prioritising your own needs and maintaining a health equilibrium, you pave the way for greater fulfilment and resilience on your journey as a working mother.
Looking back, what would you say to your younger self at the start of your career, knowing what you do now about juggling motherhood and professional growth?
Reflecting on my journey thus far, there are several pieces of advice I would offer to my younger self.
Firstly, I would emphasise the importance of being confident in my career choices and the companies I’ll eventually join. Every opportunity, regardless of how it aligns with my initial expectations, presents unique avenues for growth and development. I would urge my younger self to embrace the diverse skill sets and organisational cultures encountered along the way, recognising them as valuable stepping stones in my professional journey.
Secondly, I would also advise my younger self to set clear and achievable goals at each stage of my career. As a young working professional, I failed to realise the importance of setting goals and milestones for my career and taking a step back to evaluate regularly. This left me unsure if I was truly progressing towards my long-term goals.
That said, if I could turn back time, I would also remind my younger self to be open to adapting and refining goals as needed to align with evolving aspirations and circumstances. Life is full of change, and as a working mother now, juggling professional ambitions with family responsibilities adds another layer of complexity to this journey. It is essential to remain flexible and responsive to the evolving demands of both career and motherhood.
By embracing these insights, she would navigate her career journey with confidence and purpose, seizing opportunities for growth and fulfilment along the way.
Jess Tan’s journey illustrates that balancing career ambitions with family life is a continuous learning process. By setting clear goals, harnessing digital tools, and establishing firm boundaries, working mothers can navigate both worlds with purpose and resilience. Jess embodies the belief that prioritizing self-care and inclusivity leads to authentic growth and fulfillment in both professional and personal spheres. Her advice and reflections serve as a guiding light for those seeking a harmonious balance between leadership and motherhood.
